


conscious choices

by The_Eclectic_Bookworm



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-25 03:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10756098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Eclectic_Bookworm/pseuds/The_Eclectic_Bookworm
Summary: told through phone calls, emails, and instant messages: the story of how Jenny came back to Sunnydale and finished falling in love (with some help from Willow and Buffy)set in an alternate s4; Jenny left after Eyghon and therefore never died





	1. Chapter 1

“Giles here.”

“Hey. Rupert. It’s Jenny.”

“Jenny! This is—Calendar?”

“Um. Yeah. You know any other Jennys?”

“Well—”

“Don’t answer that. Listen, I heard about the Ascension, and I wanted to know—”

“Sorry, one moment. Er— _Olivia, I’m on the phone with an old colleague, I’ll be a minute!_  Yes?”

“…Olivia?”

“My—she—she’s visiting.”

“Okay. Wow. Um, congrats.”

“On?”

“I just—it’s good to know you’re happy.”

“Well. I—she—”

“Anyway. That’s…not why I called you. Rupert, I, I’ve been getting some weird portents in relation to Sunnydale. The message boards have been going crazy about demons getting struck down left and right, and my demon friend says that her husband went missing on a drive he was taking through Sunnydale. They found his car by the side of the road.”

“I’m sorry—you have a demon friend?”

“Not all demons are Grade A Killers, Rupert.”

“I didn’t—I’m just surprised that—that you’re still involved in the supernatural scene, especially after…”

“I guess I just needed some time. Look, I just wanted to know if you know anything about why so many demons and monsters might be gone, or if Buffy’s been getting better with patrolling, or something like that. The disappearances are sending some strange magical vibes through the surrounding area.”

“You’re—nearby?”

“…”

“Jenny?”

“I had to get closer so my spell could get a read on the mystical energy in Sunnydale.”

“But—how close?”

“…I’m staying with Willow.”

“Wh—Willow? She never mentioned—”

“I asked her not to.”

“You  _asked her—_ ”

“I don’t think it’s your place to get upset about something like this.”

“Jenny, if you think something’s wrong in Sunnydale, you should have  _told_ me. I’d have  _helped._ ”

“I’m still not sure that you guys aren’t the reason something’s wrong with it.” 

“Does Willow know about  _that?_ ”

“I…might have left that part out.”

“Bloody—look, Jenny, just—Buffy and I don’t know anything about any new disappearances. Buffy’s actually been falling  _behind_ on patrol lately, what with trying to keep up with her college courses. If there’s something wrong, I won’t have you handling it all by yourself.”

“You know, things have changed over the last two years, Rupert. I can hold my own a lot better than you’d expect.”

“Fine! I’m not going to dispute that! I just don’t think it’s safe for  _anyone_  to be working by themselves on something they’re still only theorizing on, especially not in this town.”

“…”

“Jenny?”

“…”

“Hello?”

“I hate that you have a point.”

* * *

To: laptop_blesser@aol.com

From: watchergiles@aol.com

Subject: Research 

While I understand the need for alternative means of communication that don’t involve tying up Willow’s phone line, I am more than slightly miffed that you insist upon forcing me to use a laptop. I find this frustrating and impersonal, and would prefer letter-writing. Or note-delivering, if you must. I’m sure Willow would be happy to help.

That said, I feel as though our collaboration, while certainly enjoyable on my part, is not something that will bring you the results that you’d like. Seeing as neither of us know anything about what you say is a very serious and pressing issue, I am not entirely certain what either of us can do to attempt to stop it. 

In short, I have found nothing.

Regards,

Rupert

* * *

To: watchergiles@aol.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: RE: Research

Are you sure you don’t want me to write you letters with my trusty quill, roll up my parchment into a scroll, and send my pigeon to your window? Glad to see  _some_ things haven’t changed since I left.

Honestly, Rupert, while I  _did_ come to Sunnydale to try and fix this problem, it was also really nice to just spend time with you and the Scoobies. I know we’re going on basically nothing when it comes to research, so maybe this can be our side project instead of a big main thing. We do five minutes of arbitrary research, and then we have a conversation about the problem that Buffy and everyone currently needs help with. That’s what happened last time we got together, right?

Also!! Do you still like green tea? I was thinking maybe we move our research session to the Espresso Pump next time around.

Jenny

Postscript (look, a term you know in an email!! Worlds colliding): I haven’t seen Olivia around as much lately. What’s up with her?

* * *

To: laptop_blesser@aol.com

From: watchergiles@aol.com

Subject: Ground Rules

Jenny, you aren’t nearly as subtle as I assume you’re trying to be. Was there really ever any kind of mystical omen in Sunnydale, or are you attempting to resume our romantic relationship through subterfuge? Because if the latter is true, I think you should know that while my relationship with Olivia is very much long-distance, I still don’t feel ready to be with you in a romantic sense. I’m not entirely sure if I can even be your friend. I was deeply in love with you when you left. I think you should know that.  

I’d appreciate you being honest with me. Completely. It wasn’t at all pleasant to find out about your connections to Angelus. 

Rupert

* * *

**Drafts (3)**

* * *

_To: watchergiles@aol.com_

_From: laptop_blesser@aol.com_

_Subject: [blank]_

_Bring Angelus into this conversation one more time and I will deck you in the fucking face I swear to god_

_To: watchergiles@aol.com_

_From: laptop_blesser@aol.com_

_Subject: [blank]_

_LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. WHO DOES THAT. I ALREADY FUCKING SAID I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT THE CURSE EVEN WHEN EVERYONE WAS TAKING TURNS YELLING AT ME OVER THE PHONE_

_To: watchergiles@aol.com_

_From: laptop_blesser@aol.com_

_Subject: [blank]_

_I came back to Sunnydale because you were one of the best friends I had even before we were dating. And it was stupid and impulsive of me to leave after Eyghon, but I was so scared, and I thought it would make me feel better if I left. It didn’t. It made me feel worse. And sad. I stayed away for a year because I figured I’d hurt you enough by leaving. There really is something going on here in Sunnydale—I didn’t lie about that. But I also miss you, and I want to be with you. Even if it can’t ever be the way it was before I left._

_Also, I just figured out I was in love with you too when I left. So that sucks._

* * *

To: watchergiles@aol.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: RE: Ground Rules

Honestly? I was telling the truth about me coming back because of stuff going down in Sunnydale. I’m sorry I hurt you, but you need to stop thinking that I want to be anything other than friends. I left because I needed distance. I stand by that. 

Maybe you should consider the fact that I  _like_ talking to you. As  _friends._ I’ve been alone for the better part of the last year, and it was really wonderful to talk to someone again. 

Jenny

* * *

_Hey, you’ve reached Jenny’s small, private phone line! Kudos to Willow for being nice enough to let me stay at her place. Leave a message after the beep!_

“Jenny, this is Rupert. Giles. Unless you, ah, know a-a different Rupert…who’s British…this might have been a mistake. I don’t know how to erase this message, so I suppose I’ll just keep talking. I—it was wrong of me to assume without any evidence that you’re—you’ve come back to be with me. Wrong and [ _nervous laugh_ ] quite arrogant, too, I expect. I’ve…quite enjoyed talking to you too. I hope I haven’t mucked things up too badly between us. Again. Please call me back.”

* * *

“Giles here.”

“Do you just answer the phone like that every single time?”

“Oh—Jenny—I’m so—I’m so incredibly sorry.”

“Yeah, I got your message.”

“I’m sorry for that, too.”

“Rupert, relax. It’s fine. I’m sorry back.”

“For—?”

“For making you feel in any way like I was overstepping my bounds.”

“Ah. Well. That’s—thank you.”

“I think you might be right about setting some ground rules, though.”

“Oh?”

“If I’m staying in Sunnydale, I don’t think either of us should try to resume our relationship.”

“Well, I wasn’t—”

“No, I-I know. You’ve made your point there. I just feel like it needed to be said so there’s no—confusion. About anyone’s intentions.”

“You’re, you’re quite right. I—I hope you know that—”

“Yeah?”

“…I may have had romantic feelings for you in the past, but I can assure you that they’ve long since faded now. I—hope that makes you feel a bit more comfortable.”

“…”

“Jenny?”

“…”

“Are you there?”

“…Yeah.”

“Did you hear what I said?”

“Yeah. You, uh, you don’t have to repeat it.”

“…”

“…”

“Right! Glad we’re on the same page.”

“Yep. Definitely.”

“Well—”

“Uh—”

“Goodbye.”

“What? Oh! Yeah. Bye, Rupert. Thanks for calling.”

“Of course.”

“…”

“Right. Hanging up now.”

[dial tone]

* * *

_from the online journal of jenny calendar:_

I think I’m still in love with him and I really don’t like this


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes on the Scooby Meeting (transcribed by Xander Harris):**

_things_

_stuff_

_giles is looking. better look like I’m writing_

_why is he not paying attention to what I’m writing????_

* * *

To: watchergiles@aol.com

From: xand_man@yahoo.com

Subject: Scooby Meeting

So, Giles, you liked Ms. Calendar’s new shirt??

* * *

To: xand_man@yahoo.com 

From: watchergiles@aol.com

Subject: RE: Scooby Meeting

Never email me again.

* * *

“Hey.”

“Hey, Willow. I’m sorry I got a little nervous when we started talking magic. I just—I worry about you.”

“Well, you don’t—”

“This isn’t a Willow-specific thing. I’d worry about Buffy or Rupert if they were getting into magic without any kind of structure. Rupert  _did._ ”

“Yeah. I know. But I’m not summoning demons, so you really shouldn’t worry about me, okay?”

“…”

“Ms. Calendar?”

“I…Willow, you don’t understand what it’s like.”

“What it’s like to do magic? Because—”

“To hurt someone with magic.”

“You know I wouldn’t—”

“I thought I had things under control, and it was in my head the whole time, listening. Waiting.”

“It’s not  _like_ that!”

“I don’t want you to be that.”

“It’s not  _going_ to be like that! And you know what, you have a lot of nerve, telling me what you think’s going to happen to me when you haven’t even  _been_ here for the last year! It’s not fair of you to—to assume you can just step into my life and start saying what’s what! You’re not my teacher.”

“Willow—”

“Not unless I say you’re my teacher, and I don’t say that!” 

“Willow, can you imagine what would happen if Buffy got hurt?”

“…”

“Imagine knowing that you put someone through pain for five seconds of feeling better off than everyone else. Imagine that level of guilt. I don’t  _ever_ want you to have to deal with that. Not ever.”

“…”

“You can be mad at me. That’s fine. I just want you to really think about the decision you’re making.”

“…”

“I care about you a lot, okay?”

“…”

“Call me back when you can.”

[dial tone]

* * *

To: watchergiles@aol.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: Willow 

Have you just not been training her??????? Rupert, what is  _wrong_ with you????????

Willow is a very bright and ambitious girl, but she’s easily swayed by the promise of encouragement. Leaving her alone to dabble in whatever she wants is incredibly dangerous. For her, for you, and for anyone involved. I’m doing my best to try and steer her in the right direction, but there’s a year’s worth of resistance I’m working through. She doesn’t like that I’m trying to teach her when I’ve been gone for a year. She thinks that that justifies considering my opinions wrong and unfounded.

And  _don’t_ make this about me being absent for a year. Even if I’d never come back to Sunnydale, you should have been keeping a better eye on her. 

Jenny

* * *

To: laptop_blesser@aol.com

From: watchergiles@aol.com

Subject: RE: Willow

You’re being incredibly judgmental of choices I made while you were gone. I trust Willow. I don’t see why you shouldn’t.

Rupert

* * *

To: watchergiles@aol.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: fucking hell, Rupert

I know that you’re being concise because you know I’m right. So why not just admit it in more words than that?

Jenny

* * *

To: laptop_blesser@aol.com

From: watchergiles@aol.com

Subject: RE: fucking hell, Rupert

How do you change the little thing that currently says “fucking hell, Rupert?”

Rupert

* * *

To: watchergiles@aol.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: Is that really what you’re getting from this conversation??

[message blank]

* * *

“Giles here.”

“Fuck you.”

“Ah. Hello, Jenny.”

“Would it  _kill_ you to admit that I’m right about Willow?”

“I really don’t think that the issues with Willow are as serious as you believe they are.”

“Oh, so you’re just not taking me seriously. That’s the problem here. Glad we got that covered.”

“You know that’s not—”

“I think it is. I think you’ve been on your own for long enough that you think that your word is the one that counts at the end of the day.”

“You’ve been here for  _two weeks,_ you’re suddenly trying to change everything up, and you’re telling  _me_ that  _I_ overestimate my own importance?”

“Yeah, well, I’m  _staying_  this time!”

“…what?”

“I—I’m staying this time.”

“…”

“Did you not know that I started renting a place?”

“I didn’t—I, I thought your being in Sunnydale was just on a temporary basis.”

“Is that what you want?”

“…”

“Rupert?”

“You know it’s not what I want. I—was merely operating under the assumption that you’d be leaving.”

“Well, I’m not. I don’t want to.”

“Why?”

“Because there are people here I care about. Because I’ve been flying solo for the last year, and it’s getting old. Because—”

“Jenny?”

“…”

“Are you—”

“Because I missed you.”

“…oh. Well.”

“Yeah.”

“Did you—come back—because of me?”

“Not entirely. But it was one of the reasons.”

“Oh.”

“Is that bad?”

“No. It’s just—a lot to think about.”

“I guess it is.”

“…”

“I think I’m supposed to be angry at you right now.”

“No. You’re right about Willow.”

“I…am?”

“I just—didn’t want to admit you were right when I thought you’d be leaving.”

“Are you  _five?_   _God,_ Rupert, you could have saved me  _hours_ of composing angry emails!”

“Truthfully, I don’t think I’m the five-year-old in this phone call.”

“You’re so—”

“So?”

“…ugh. I’m coming over. I still need to talk to you about the weird signals I’ve been picking up around Sunnydale High.”

“I’ll make us some tea.”

* * *

_from the online journal of jenny calendar:_

Sunnydale life has been going ok. Reasonably ok, I guess. Things aren’t super great when you’re in love with your ex, but the supernatural work’s been keeping us all busy. 

Spike showed up in town again. Apparently he’s dating Harmony. Or was. Buffy was a little vague about the details. He’s gone now, but it felt a little weird to think about the fact that the last time he was in town, Rupert and i had that makeout session in the library right after the vampires left the school.

I miss kissing Rupert. But I left, and I hurt him by leaving, and I have to be able to respect the fact that he doesn’t want to be with me again. Even if it sucks to know that he’s moving on and I’m not. I’ve met Olivia a few times now, actually. She’s nice.

ANYWAY. Getting very hung up over one guy is not a healthy thing to do. Willow seems to have picked up on what she’s calling my “endearing emotional fragility” and is trying to set me up with her history professor. It’s kind of good, though, because Willow and I are cool again now that she has something she feels like she can help me with. She’s much more willing to listen to me when I give her magic advice now that I listen to her when she gives me guy advice. So that’s reassuring. I don’t want Willow going all scary-dark-witch like that chick I knew in college.

* * *

“Jenny!”

“Rupert, how did you get my work phone number?”

“Inconsequential. There’s something odd going on, and I’m beginning to wonder if it might possibly be linked to what brought you back to Sunnydale.”

“What, me missing you?”

“That’s not exactly what I had in mind, but, um, that’s still quite nice to hear.”

“Wait. Do you mean—”

“Buffy mentioned something about men in military uniforms. You did say a few days ago that all of these disappearing demons almost seemed professionally done.”

“Oh my god. You’re—there’s seriously something going on?”

“What?”

“What?”

“Jenny—you said you came back to Sunnydale because you thought there was something going on.”

“I did! I just—after a while, I thought that maybe I was just reading the signs wrong. You think there might really be military guys taking down demons?”

“Stranger things have happened.”

“Our mayor  _was_ a snake.”

“How soon can you come over?”

“I’m packing my stuff up right now.”

* * *

_Watcher’s Log, Entry #1184_

Jenny and I haven’t managed to find out much about the possibility of there being a military organization, aside from the fact that now we’re aware that there might be one. Simply put, we’re essentially back where we started.

I feel terrible about continuing to betray her trust. She’s been nothing but honest with me, and I am too selfish a man to be honest with her about my feelings for her. She has made it quite clear that her feelings for me are not in any way romantic, but I can’t possibly risk losing her again by telling her I am in love with her. Painful as this is, I think it best to wait things out. Perhaps someday we’ll be lucky enough to love each other at the same time.


	3. Chapter 3

To: laptop_blesser@aol.com

From: witchy_willow@yahoo.com

Subject: cranberry sauce!!!!!!

HI HI HI ARE YOU GETTING THE CRANBERRY SAUCE TODAY LIKE I KNOW YOU’RE TEACHING CLASS RIGHT NOW BUT I ALSO KNOW YOU CHECK YOUR EMAIL EVERY FIVE MINUTES AND BUFFY REALLY WANTS TO KNOW

* * *

To: witchy_willow@yahoo.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: RE: cranberry sauce!!!!!!

Tell Buffy not to worry!! Rupert and I are making the cranberry sauce this evening.

* * *

To: laptop_blesser@aol.com

From: witchy_willow@yahoo.com

Subject: Oooooh

“making the cranberry sauce…” is that what the kids are calling it these days????

* * *

To: witchy_willow@yahoo.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: Shut up 

[message blank]

* * *

To: laptop_blesser@aol.com

From: witchy_willow@yahoo.com

Subject: ok but seriously, Ms. Calendar

you know Giles really likes you, right? Like  _really_ likes you. Like he-spent-yesterday-talking-to-me-about-you likes you. And I know you like him, or you would have more to say than just “shut up,” and you said you’re not my teacher so I’m not super duper overstepping my bounds but I really think you guys might be able to be happy this time around????

* * *

To: witchy_willow@yahoo.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: RE: ok but seriously, Ms. Calendar

It’s a little more complicated than that.

* * *

**A Post-It Note On Rupert Giles’s Fridge:**

hey.

cooking w/u was really nice. sorry it got weird all of a sudden

i’m gonna go pick up some store-bought cranberry sauce (shh, don’t tell buffy) but i’ll be back in time for dinner

-j

* * *

_Watcher’s Log, Entry #1197_

I realize that this is a rather unorthodox use of a journal that I was previously utilizing for its intended purpose (i.e. to record Buffy’s progress as a Slayer, regardless of the involvement of the Council), but she takes up enough of my thoughts and enough of these entries that I feel as though I should record tonight’s happenings. 

Jenny and I were making cranberry sauce for the gathering tomorrow and her hand happened to brush mine. Then she stopped talking, as did I, and she began to lean in as though to kiss me. I must confess that I was quite prepared to meet her in the middle before Spike interrupted loudly from the living room that “I’m still here, damn it, even though I wish I bloody weren’t,” at which point Jenny started, as if brought back to her senses, and knocked the bowl of cranberry sauce, spilling it mostly on me. I went to change my shirt, and found that Jenny had left, with only a post-it note left on the refrigerator that indicated that she wouldn’t be coming back until dinner. 

Incidentally, the next time Spike inquires when I’m going to “shag the teacher and get it over with,” I am going to stake him. Without remorse. To hell with us needing information from him, and to hell with whatever this Initiative thing is.

On second thought, whatever information Spike has might be connected to the reason Jenny came back to Sunnydale. Killing him means we’re back to square one.

If we’re back to square one, though, that means this problem will take longer to solve, and Jenny will have to stay definitively longer in order to solve it.

I will mull this over more thoroughly.

* * *

“Hello.”

“…Hi.”

“Not answering the phone with  _Giles here,_ as you can see.” [nervous laugh] “Er. As you can hear.”

“I’m really sorry I almost kissed you.”

“Oh.”

“I just, I had this weird moment, but it was really a fluke, I swear, and I would never want to do anything to make you believe that—”

“No, it’s, it’s fine. You don’t have to talk about it anymore.”

“Rupert, it’s really, really important to me that you know I’m not into you, okay? I don’t want to make things weird between us.”

“You know, I think—I think we’re breaking up. I can’t—I’m going through a tunnel.”

“This is your home phone.”

“What’s that? Can’t—”

[dial tone]

“Is he for real?”

* * *

_Watcher’s Log, Entry #1198_

Bloody brilliant, Giles. 

* * *

 

_I think they’re in love._

Why are you passing me an ambiguous napkin note? 

 

_Because if I say “Hey, Buffy, Giles and Ms. Calendar are in love!!” they’ll hear me and that’ll destroy the whole point of everything._

Yes, but why are you passing  _me_ this note? Why not Giles? Or Ms. Calendar? Or, I don’t know,  _not me?_

 

_Because I need help trying to get them together, and I’m definitely not asking Xander._

Willow, they’re adults. I don’t think they want us to play matchmaker.

 

_Fine. Then I need you to help me not do anything too obvious._

I put up with so much.

 

* * *

“Hey, Giles!”

“Buffy?”

“Um, who else calls your home phone at two in the morning?”

“W-well, on occasion Ms. Calendar, lately—”

“ _Oh_ my god, Willow was right.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Listen, are you doing anything tomorrow night? There’s some patrolling stuff I wanted to talk to you about. Can we meet at the Espresso Pump?”

“The—Espresso Pump? O-on Thursday?”

“Why, is that a problem?”

“Er—no, just—isn’t there somewhere else we can meet?”

“Nope. I’m set on having one of their lattes. So, what do you think?”

“I’ll—I’ll have to see. Are you planning on going by yourself if I refuse?”

“That’s still a little up in the air, actually, but I was kinda hoping you wouldn’t.”

“I’ll have to see. If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get some rest.”

“Cool. And  _try_ and talk with Ms. Calendar, okay?”

“Wh—”

“Giles, you aren’t  _nearly_ as subtle as you think you are.”

[dial tone]

* * *

**Drafts (4)**

* * *

_To: laptop_blesser@aol.com_

_From: witchy_willow@yahoo.com_

_Subject: [blank]_

_What would you say to meeting me at the Espresso Pump to talk magic tomorrow night? Also, can you wear that teal sweater that makes your eyes look really nice? For no reason, obviously._

_To: laptop_blesser@aol.com_

_From: witchy_willow@yahoo.com_

_Subject: [blank]_

_Hey!! So Giles is in love with you. Do you want to go to the Espresso Pump and get set up on a date with him?_

_To: laptop_blesser@aol.com_

_From: witchy_willow@yahoo.com_

_Subject: [blank]_

_You know we all saw you and Giles hugging when you left after Thanksgiving dinner, right? That was not a platonic hug. That was like ten seconds of solid hugging, and I’m pretty sure Giles smelled your hair. Or kissed the top of your head. I wasn’t close enough to tell. Either way, it was super disturbing, but I think you guys have a bunch of sexual tension that you need to figure out at some point, so I’m going to try and set you both up on a date._

_To: laptop_blesser@aol.com_

_From: witchy_willow@yahoo.com_

_Subject: [blank]_

_ughhhhh these are getting worse as I keep going…help_

* * *

To: laptop_blesser@aol.com

From: witchy_willow@yahoo.com

Subject: Coffee meet up?

Hey Ms. Calendar, my teacher who I respect! Can you meet me at the Espresso Pump tomorrow night for completely magical reasons?

Willow Danielle Rosenberg

* * *

To: witchy_willow@yahoo.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: RE: Coffee meet up?

Are…you okay?


	4. Chapter 4

“ABORT MISSION.”

“What’s going on? Where are you?”

“I’m using the phone at the Espresso Pump! Where are  _you?_ ”

“Buffy, if Giles and Ms. Calendar figure out we set them up, we don’t want to be anywhere in the vicinity! We have to—to give their love a chance to blossom! And bloom! Like flowers!”

“Oh no.”

“What?”

“I forgot to tell you.”

“ _What?_ ”

“Giles isn’t coming.”

“ _Buffy!_ ”

“I have to go tell Ms. Calendar that you’re not coming either, okay? I’ll just make something up, and—whoa.”

“What?”

“Oh my  _god._ ”

“Buffy, you can’t keep  _doing_ this to me. It’s very stressful.”

“Willow—it’s  _Giles._ ”

“What? I thought you said he wasn’t coming!”

“I thought he wasn’t too! But—oh.”

“Now what’s going on?”

“Oh my god, he’s playing the guitar. He’s playing the guitar— _to_ Ms. Calendar. Oh my god.”

“ _What????”_

“I—I guess he saw her at her table! And now he’s singing to her about friendship or something and she’s looking at him like—”

“Like?”

“Like he’s—ew. No one should look at Giles like that.”

“That’s  _your_ opinion.”

“Willow, I am having a stressful enough night as it is. I don’t need to hear about your librarian sex fantasy _oh_ my god.”

“I’m going to come over there.”

“No, don’t. Definitely do not do that.”

“What?”

“Giles just came over and he and Ms. Calendar are talking. Like—I think he’s holding her hand over the table.”

“!!!!!!!!”

“ _Jeez,_ Willow, that hurt my ears! Tone it  _down._ ”

“ _I was right!!!!!”_

“Okay. Okay, I’m hanging up. I’m hanging up, and coming over, and talking to you about meddling in people’s private lives. You’ve turned me into a-a meddler.”

* * *

_from the online journal of jenny calendar:_

RUPERT PLAYS THE GUITAR. I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS. 

Willow told me that she got an unexpected and mysterious flu bug, but I get the sense she was trying to set me up with Rupert. I’d tell her not to interfere, but the thing is, it was  _so_ worth it when Rupert started singing to me. He’s got one hell of a voice. 

And it was nice to talk to him! Everything is very non-weird between us, and it’s really refreshing. I’m starting to think that I might actually have a chance to  _really_ make things right with him.

* * *

“Giles here—see, now I  _am_ greeting you the way I do, only this time it’s  _ironic._ ”

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh—Olivia?”

“Why, were you expecting someone else?”

“I—no, not at all. How are you doing?”

“Quite well, thank you. How’s Jenny?”

“I—what? Well—the—what?”

“It’s all right, Rupert. She really does seem very in love with you.”

“…Really?”

“I didn’t know she could smile at all before you walked into the room.”

“…Oh.”

“What is it?”

“I just—I think I need to talk to her. Properly. No silences between us.”

* * *

_Watcher’s Log, Entry #1201_

“No silences between us.” Oh, the irony. ****

* * *

**Written on Whiteboards (Rupert Giles and Jenny Calendar, researching the Gentlemen)**

 

_You found anything yet?_

Not as such, no. You?

 

_Still looking._

Would you like to play hangman?

 

_Rupert Edmund Giles. Are you slacking off in the middle of an important research session?_

 

You know my middle name?

 

Jenny.

 

_I can’t take this anymore._

Jenny?

 

Wh

* * *

willow: TODAY IS THE WORST DAY TO HAVE NO VOICE, BUFFY, BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT  _BELIEVE_ WHAT I JUST SAW


	5. Chapter 5

willow: BUFFY

buffy: omg sorry i was fighting gentlemen last night

buffy: and then i got caught up in watching an i love lucy marathon with the mom this morning

buffy: its so nice to have my voice back…i get to criticize plot points again

willow: BUFFY

buffy: chill willow whats up

willow: BUFFY I WALKED IN ON GILES AND MS CALENDAR KISSING

buffy: WHAT

willow: I KNOW

buffy: WHYT HE

buffy: I DONT WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THIS

willow: they saw me and then Ms. Calendar panicked and ran away

willow: Giles went and hid in the kitchen

buffy: why do u tell me these things

willow: I think it’s important for you to know when Giles is happy

buffy: idk willow

buffy: if someone ran off after kissing me i don’t think id be that happy

* * *

_Hey, you’ve reached Jenny. Leave a message._

“Jenny, it’s me. I—please call me back.”

* * *

_Hey, you’ve reached Jenny. Leave a message._

“Hey. Are you okay? Listen, I’m sorry I walked in on you and Giles. I hope I didn’t—ruin the moment or anything. I’m starting to think I might have. Anyway. Call me back when you can?”

* * *

“Hello?”

“Hi.”

“…Oh. Jenny.”

“Should I apologize?”

“Do you want to?”

“Not, um, not really. No. That was—”

“Nice.”

“…I thought you didn’t have feelings for me.”

“I was under the impression that  _you_ didn’t have feelings for  _me._ ”

“I didn’t want to talk about it, I guess. It felt easier when I knew we wouldn’t have to.”

“It did.”

“Yeah.”

“…”

“And I really, really wanted to kiss you.”

“Do you still?”

“What?  _Yes_.”

“Come over. We can talk.”

“…”

“What is it?”

“I—I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

“Jenny—I don’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable, or-or afraid—”

“It’s not that.”

“…”

“It was  _so_ wonderful to kiss you. I wouldn’t change that. But I’m not sure if I want to risk hurting you again if things go south. I—I don’t think I was the only lonely one when I left.”

“…”

“Rupert?”

“I didn’t realize that  _that_  was your motivation for wanting to keep our relationship platonic.”

“What did you think it was?”

“I thought you still—that some part of you still—”

“No.”

“Blamed me. For Eyghon.”

“ _No_. No way.”

“Because I would certainly understand—”

“Rupert, I  _love_  you.”

“…”

“Wow. Okay. You know, now that I’m thinking about it, maybe that would have been better to tell you face-to-face.”

“…”

“The whole silence thing is—it’s making me kind of nervous.”

[dial tone]

“Rupert?”

* * *

_Watcher’s Log, Entry #1205_

I don’t know how to take this. I don’t know what to do. I thought she was merely attracted to me. I had never considered that she might return my feelings, and to be completely frank, I’m frightened by it. Her love isn’t something that I deserve. It never was.

* * *

buffy: u ok?

buffy: we didnt see u at todays scooby meeting

buffy: and giles is all jumpy n weird

jenny_c: How did you get my screen name?

buffy: it isnt super inventive

buffy: also willow told me

jenny_c: I’m fine. I’m sorry Rupert’s upset.

buffy: u know he really really cares about u right?

buffy: ugh i SAID i wasnt gonna meddle but whatever

jenny_c: Buffy, that’s sweet, but he hasn’t talked to me for days.

buffy: he isnt talkin to u bc hes panicking

buffy: also i saw him practicing pickup lines on a chair again

jenny_c: “Again”??

buffy: i said nothing                                             

buffy: u heard nothing from me about giles and chairs

* * *

To: watchergiles@aol.com

From: summerybuffy@yahoo.com

Subject: ITS BEEN TWO WEEKS TALK TO MS CALENDAR ALREADY

[message blank]

* * *

_Rupert Giles here. At the tone, please leave your message._

“Hi. That was [laughs] kind of stupid of me, to tell you that I love you over the phone, so I thought, um, maybe we could go out for dinner. Or not. Or maybe that’s just not on the table anymore now that I’ve told you I love you. But I know you’re definitely attracted to me, because otherwise you wouldn’t have kissed me so much—a lot—you definitely wouldn’t have pressed me up against the wall and started unbuttoning my shirt. Oh god, it just occurred to me that sometimes the kids hear these messages. Make sure the kids don’t hear these messages. Um. Sorry. I—I talk a lot. When I’m nervous. Also I just had like three cups of coffee to prep for this phone call because I kind of thought you’d pick up and we could speed through this? I’m just now realizing that more impersonal phone conversations might be a bad idea. I think I’m going to just swing by your house tomorrow morning, okay? Okay. Love you.  _Shit,_ that’s the  _problem._ Anyway. Bye.”

* * *

“Hello?”

“Call Buffy. She needs to come over to Rupert’s place.”

“Ms. Calendar? What’s going on? Why are you at Giles’s house at eight in the morning?”

“That isn’t important right now.”

“Are you okay? You sound kinda stressed.”

“ _Call Buffy,_ Willow. She needs to get over here.”

“What’s going on?”

“Just tell Buffy—”

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you calling Buffy yourself?”

“I don’t—I don’t remember her number. Just call Buffy and tell her I need her over here.”

“Why don’t you need me?”

“ _Willow,_  just—fuck. Never mind. I’m going to go kill it myself.”

“ _What?_ No! Stay there. Um—Buffy’s coming. I’ll call her, okay?”

“Thank you.” [dial tone]

“Oh boy.”

* * *

“Hey, Giles! What’s up?”

“Buffy, it’s Willow. You need to come down t-to Giles’s place right now.”

“Willow? What’s—are you crying?”

“…”

“Will?”

“Giles’s apartment is a-a wreck, and Ms. Calendar got down here just in time to get a call from Xander that he’d nearly been attacked by a demon, and then she called me to call you because she wanted you to go fight the demon, because she’s convinced that Giles got dragged off by a demon.”

“You know, Giles’s apartment being trashed isn’t a lot to go on if Ms. Calendar’s assuming—”

“We found his shirt.”

“What?”

“It was ripped to shreds.”

“…oh boy. How’s Ms. Calendar taking it?”

“She left two minutes ago to go kill whatever it was that got Giles.”

“ _What?_ Why would you let her do that?”

“She was holding a battle-axe! And you should have  _seen_ her eyes, Buffy. I’ve never seen her that angry.”

“Oh my god. Okay. I need to go find her before she gets herself killed. Can you and Xander try and figure out what the demon might be?”

“W-we will.”

“It’s going to be okay, Will. She’ll be fine. I just need to talk her down.”

“I don’t think anyone but Giles can talk her down, and he’s—”

“It’s okay. I  _promise_ I’ll make sure she’s okay.”

* * *

“Buffy?”

“Hey. Funny story.”

“This is the  _hospital number,_ Buffy.”

“So maybe not that funny.”


	6. Chapter 6

“Hi, this is Willow.”

“Hello, Willow.”

“ _Giles!_ ”

“Did Buffy tell you what happened?”

“She said she’d brief me and then she had to hang up.”

“Yes. Well. Everyone is fine. Jenny has a concussion and a few bruises, so she’s staying overnight for observation, but no one’s dead, which is certainly good.”

“Are  _you_ okay? You sound really sad.”

“I…made a rather foolish mistake, Willow. I don’t think Jenny will take very kindly to it when she finds out.”

“Giles, you do know she’s in love with you, right?”

“…”

“Giles?”

“Did she tell you?”

“No, but she got a huge battle-axe to try to fight a demon for you, and when I tried to stop her she said she would cut down anyone who kept her from keeping you safe, so I feel like that’s a pretty big indicator of strong feelings.”

“She said that?”

“I might be paraphrasing a little.”

“I’ll talk to her when she’s a bit more coherent, I think.”

“Okay. Can you tell Buffy to call me? I still kind of want to know what happened.”

“Yes. I’ll—I’ll let her know.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course.”

“And, um, Giles?”

“Yes?”

“She’s not going to leave again. I know she won’t.”

“…”

“Bye, Giles.”

[dial tone]

* * *

“Hey, Willow, it’s Buffy.”

“ _What happened????_ ”

“Okay. Um, basically Giles went out drinking with Ethan Rayne—”

“Ethan Rayne? Band-candy Ethan Rayne? Part-of-the-reason-Ms-Calendar-left-town-in-the-first-place Ethan Rayne?”

“Yep.”

“Yikes. I can see why Giles was worried about Ms. Calendar being upset.”

“Anyway, Ethan turned Giles into a Fyarl demon.”

“ _Oh!_ ”

“…”

“Oh,  _no._ ”

“Yeah. Pretty much that exactly. Ms. Calendar showed up and tried to attack Giles, and Giles was mostly just trying to stay out of the way of the battle-axe, but he ended up accidentally slamming her against the wall because  _demon strength_ and all that.”

“But she’s okay?”

“She’s fine. He was trying to check on her when I came in.”

“And you thought—”

“I thought he was killing her. Yeah.”

“So you fought him—”

“And I stabbed him with something silver, and he turned back.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Is Ms. Calendar okay?”

“She’s pretty coherent. It wasn’t as bad as they thought it was at first. Giles is explaining everything to her while I talk to you. Hold on, I can kind of see them from here.”

“What’s going on?”

“…”

“Buffy?”

“They’re—hugging a lot. It’s sweet.”

“Do you think she knows? About Ethan?”

“I left to call you just around the time he started telling her. I was kind of expecting her to be mad.”

“Is she?”

“She’s crying a little.”

“Oh, no, do you think she decided to leave? I don’t want her to leave! Is this like a goodbye hug?”

“No, it’s a good hug! She’s smiling really big too, and—ew, now they’re kissing. Gross. Okay. Yeah, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be sticking her tongue down his throat like that if she was planning on leaving. Stop  _laughing_ , Willow.”

* * *

“Rupert?”

“Jenny!”

“So, like, just to check in, because I was really out of it that night at the hospital—”

“I do love you.”

“No, I [soft laugh] I got that _._  You were pretty vehement about it.”

“Well—I feel very strongly about  _you._ ”

“…”

“Are you all right?”

“…I just…it’s been so long, and I kept  _hoping_ —okay. Um. I didn’t call you to get all mushy. I can do that tonight. I was just wondering—”

“Yes?”

“Why were you worried I was going to leave?”

“Is this…really a question?”

“Yeah, I, I guess I just don’t get why you thought I’d want to leave you again.”

“Well. I—the last time you and Ethan were in town at the same time, you ended up getting hurt, and—”

“Oh my god. Babe. I went in with a battle-axe to kill things for you. How could I possibly blame you for my own decision?”

“You wouldn’t have ended up hurt if I’d gone drinking with Ethan, Jenny.”

“ _Rupert._ I  _love_ you, and I made a conscious choice to go looking for you. That’s a whole lot different than a demon possession. I’m not leaving town just because of a minor concussion and an idiot boyfriend.”

“…boyfriend?”

“You noticed that, huh?”

* * *

“Hey, Giles, I just got back from patrol, and I wanted to call your place and see how you were doing?”

“…Hi, Buffy.”

“Ms.  _Calendar?_ It’s two in the morning, why are you—no. Never mind. I don’t want to know. Don’t tell me.”

* * *

To: laptop_blesser@aol.com

From: watchergiles@aol.com

Subject: I love you

Regards,

Rupert

* * *

To: watchergiles@aol.com

From: laptop_blesser@aol.com

Subject: RE: I love you

The most romantic gesture a technophobe can ever make. Take note, everyone.

Jenny

(ps: nice work with the subject line, honey. I’m proud of you) 


End file.
